Do you ever feel clueless when it comes to communicating with your wife? You already know you need to communicate better with her. You are aware of the statistics on how many marriages end in divorce over this issue. But you feel frustrated because you just can’t seem to get it right. Your wife has probably let you know that she needs you to open up to her or communicate more with her. She may have even told you that she feels like there is no emotional connection between you.
If this is you, rest assured that you are not alone in your struggle. In fact, I understand where you are coming from all too well. What is a godly man to do in this situation?
The Problem – Why Communication In Marriage Breaks Down
Communication in marriage is a big issue. After all, who goes into a marriage thinking that they will simply end up sharing space without really connecting? You may be tempted to believe that you are a horrible communicator, but I’m willing to bet that is not the case. The problem is that you communicate like a man and your wife communicates like an extraterrestrial alien – or a woman.
You are probably more concerned about facts, goals, and results. At the workplace, you are probably very good at communicating in order to achieve your objectives. You have no problem discussing work related issues with your co-workers in order to achieve the results you need.
Your wife, on the other hand, does better with emotions, relationships, and intuition. She can talk all day about who posted what on Facebook, who’s pregnant, who’s getting married, and all sorts of things that you couldn’t care less about.
When there is a problem in your marriage, she probably drives you bonkers trying to figure out exactly what she’s trying to say and what you should do about it. Most of the time you would swear that she doesn’t have a clue herself. She’s just angry and upset and you feel like you’re navigating a minefield trying to stay alive for a few minutes.
The problem isn’t that you or your spouse are bad at communicating. You just speak different languages.
How To Communicate With Your Wife – Her Way
God has placed very clear commands on you as a man. You are to love your wife and sacrifice yourself for her.
Loving her means learning to speak in her language ad communicate love in a way she can receive it. This means showing interest in who’s pregnant and who’s having a baby. It means listening to her without thinking primarily about “How can I fix this?”
It means figuring out how to open up and share your emotions with her. Here are 7 tips for speaking her language:
Communication in marriage can be ugly and dysfunctional at times. Everybody goes through this. It doesn’t have to be that way though. Learn to communicate in your wife’s language and things will improve drastically. It takes time and effort to do this, but it is definitely worthwhile if you want to have a strong, Godly marriage.
Time For Homework
Your assignment is to go and apply a few of these tips this week. After you’ve done that, come back here and report on how things went in the comment section. If you’re really ambitious you can try all of them. I dare you.