Your Marriage Is Not A Dream Come True
I’ve harbored dreams of being a professional writer since I was kid.
I would lose myself in expansive fantasy worlds created by my favorite authors and dream of the day I would be a renowned fantasy writer.
And yet, how much time did I actually spend pursuing this dream? If I had this grand dream, wouldn’t I spend my free time spinning out as many stories as I could in order to master the craft of writing and storytelling?
But the truth is, my dream was nothing more than that: A dream. I never took it seriously enough to take action on it. I started a few stories that never got very far along.
Marriage is a little like that. You go into it expecting to have a blissful, passionate, purposeful marriage characterized by the words “happily ever after”.
For some, it can be more like “happily never after”.
You can’t become a renowned writer if you aren’t willing to study and practice the craft. Your dreams will not magically manifest from the essence of the universe just because you keep thinking about them.
You won’t have a strong, godly marriage just because you believe in the Bible.
It takes real effort, real intentionality to build a relationship that survives all the trials your enemy will throw at you. You need to be aware of his schemes, and you need to know how to fight them.
Your problems won’t just go away if you ignore them.
One of my biggest problems is that I have a lot of passive tendencies. They are born from a deep sense of insecurity and self doubt. I will never be the husband God intends me to be unless I seek His healing in these areas.
Here’s the catch: I don’t think God will heal these broken areas of my heart unless I learn to push through the emotional funk and live up to His standards for me, even when it’s the last thing I feel like doing.
I can’t lead my wife effectively if I don’t have the confidence in who God made me to be. I can’t gain that confidence unless I have the faith to step out and lead her. It’s like one viscous cycle.
Works don’t produce righteousness, but faith without works is dead.
As of today, I’m declaring that I am a good husband and leader to my wife. That is who God made me to be. The enemy may trip me up and derail me, but that doesn’t change my identity in Christ. It won’t keep me from doing the best I can.
Oh, and I’m also declaring that I am a writer. I may not have been published yet, but it is part of how God designed me. You can follow along with my journey as a writer at my other blog, or you can hire me if you are in need of freelance writing.
Image credit: nkzs
Thank you for your vulnerability. This is a great article and so true. Too many people (myself included) jump into marriage expecting it to be some fairytale romance when it is really hard work and a lot of God’s grace. The smaller I get, the larger God gets and the more He is glorified and my husband is served. And I’m glad you clarified that without works, faith is dead. Too often people go to one extreme or the other – too many works or not enough works. I think I tend to border on “not enough.” I feel often like the Casting Crowns song “Somewhere in the Middle” if you know it. This post was inspiring. Thanks for sharing.