29 January 2015 ~ 2 Comments

7 “Secrets” to Improve Your Marriage QUICKLY

I’m going to share 7 “secrets” to quickly improve your marriage.

You might be thinking: “These tips won’t work for MY marriage. It’s hopeless.”

But I’m going to show you why these strategies work for almost any marriage…

No matter what circumstances you are currently facing.

Because using these tips will allow you to change your circumstances, or grow from them. Even if they suck.

And none of these are actually secrets. But are you actually putting these tips to good work in your marriage?

I have to admit that I sometimes fail at all these areas myself. So I’m committing myself to to doing a better job with my wife, starting right now. […]

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10 July 2014 ~ 0 Comments

Should Marriage Be Hard?

broken heartThere’s no doubt that marriage can be really hard sometimes.

I like to talk about how marriage should make you holy more than happy. Facing and overcoming difficult times in your marriage can do a lot to help you develop godly character.

But marriage doesn’t always have to be hard. In fact, it shouldn’t be. I believe that marriage should make you both happy and holy, with a little more emphasis on the holy. And you can grow a lot from your marriage even when things aren’t hard, so the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

Unfortunately, a lot of what makes marriage hard for some people isn’t the big ticket issues, it’s a bunch of  little stuff that piles up together and makes things seem worse  than they really are.

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09 July 2014 ~ 1 Comment

Headed for Divorce? Here’s How To Have A Happy Marriage Again

angry coupleAre you in an unhappy marriage?

Maybe you are on the verge of divorce, or you’re not quite there yet but worried that you’re headed in that direction. You may be discouraged by statistics that claim that 50% of marriages end in divorce and that there is barely any difference in the divorce rate for those who are in the church. It seems almost inevitable that you will end up as a part of those statistics. How can you possibly beat the odds?

I have good news for you.

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04 May 2014 ~ 3 Comments

27 Ways to Keep the Romance Alive in Marriage

keep romance aliveI recently ran a poll where I asked you to share your ideas to keep the romance alive in marriage. The results are in. Here are 27 ways to be romantic:

Keep a Regular Date Night:

  1. INTRODUCE DATES NIGHTS IDEAS, Not to talk or discuss families or relationships issues!!!! but to just enjoy life and build memories together ( Movies, walks, weekend away, dinner, lunch, supper, game night etc for just the 2 of you).

  2. We do a date night every other Friday then the alternative Friday is family night…weather permitting we do a bonfire.

  3. Keep a once a week date night. It must focus on your relationship and not the things that are day to day life.

  4. A date once a month at the restaurant of your spouse.

  5. Date night that’s still a date when you get home.

Ideas for What to do on a Date: […]

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11 April 2014 ~ 8 Comments

“If You Love Me You’ll Have Sex With Me”

broken heartIt’s a classic ploy teenage boys pull to get their girlfriends to have sex with them.

“C’mon baby, you will if you love me.”

This is completely unloving and manipulative behavior for these teens. Sex is an inappropriate expression of love outside of marriage.

And yet, there is a nugget of truth to these selfish requests.

Sex is a valid and even essential expression of love and commitment within marriage.This is true for both men and women, though I think that men often feel this need more potently.

In many marriages sex is shoved aside, like it is just some fringe benefit of signing the marriage contract.

Or worse, it is treated as something base, carnal and dirty that needs to be kept locked up and let out only when the beast is out of control.

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27 March 2014 ~ 1 Comment

“Don’t Change Me!” – 4 Ways to Inspire Spiritual Growth In Your Spouse

inspires spiritual growth

The other day I was watching one of the polygamy reality shows on TV. I don’t agree with polygamy, but I do think that watching these shows gives an interesting look into a different family and marriage structure.

The husband on the show started a policy of “safe talks” among his wives. Basically, he wanted them to feel safe bringing their issues to each other. If one wife was having problems with another, he wanted the offended wife to feel safe in approaching the offender.

One wife was a bit more vocal than the others and apparently she had accidentally offended some of them. They came to her wanting to have “safe talks” and she felt very judged and felt insecure for having caused the offenses.

So she went to the husband because she didn’t think the policy would work for her. She felt that he was pressuring her to be open to these talks. During the argument she said “Don’t change me!”

This echoes common marriage advice that you can’t and shouldn’t try to change your spouse. I think this is bad advice.

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01 March 2014 ~ 3 Comments

Married to an Emotional Turtle? How to Coax Him Out of His Shell

Emotional Turtle

Some time ago I wrote a post about how wives can deal with an emotionally distant husband. That post was mostly on how to understand why your husband is so closed off and how to use that knowledge to extend grace. In this post I will share some tips on how you can actually help him open up to you.

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12 February 2014 ~ 1 Comment

What Everyone Gets Wrong About Love and Respect

Love and respect not feelings

I’m a huge believer in the concept of love and respect. I also believe they go both ways, husbands and wives both need love and respect. However, there is one important area where I may not agree with the majority on this subject.

Many people talk about the importance of making your spouse feel loved or respected. I think that they believe it is the duty of a husband to make sure his wife feels loved, and likewise it is the duty of a wife to make her husband feel respected. The problem with this is that it takes headship away from the husband and holds the marriage captive to   emotions.

Even if you believe in mutual submission (which I don’t), headship is not in the hands of the couple or Christ in this scenario. This is because emotions are very difficult to control.
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12 February 2014 ~ 0 Comments

Trusting in God Through Life’s Tough Times (and the Power of Worship)

worshipI remember clearly the day I became saved.

I had actually prayed the prayer before this, at a very young age. I think I was to young to really understand what I was praying,  and I’m not sure if it counted. Maybe, but I’m doubtful.

But I do remember when that changed. […]

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02 February 2014 ~ 6 Comments

Can You Build A More Intimate Marriage With This One Simple Hack?

Marriage HackToday I want to share a simple hack from the business productivity world that you can use to build deeper intimacy in your marriage.

This hack is known as the Pareto principle, sometimes called the 80/20 rule. In its most basic form, the Pareto principle states that 80 percent of a cause results in 20 percent of an effect (or vice versa). There are many variations to this rule, such as:

  • 80% of books are sold by 20% of authors
  • 80% the wealth is controlled by 20% of the population
  • 80% of marketing results in 20% of sales
  • 80% of your efforts produce 20% of your results

It’s this last one that we want to look at. In business, this means that 80% of what the employees spend their time on isn’t doing much to help the company. Conversely, only 20% of time is spent on tasks that actually get results. Productivity coaches teach executives, managers, and employees to weed out those ineffective tasks and instead focus their time and effort on the other 20% that get 80% of the results.

So how can you apply this simple principle to your marriage?

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