29 January 2015 ~ 2 Comments

7 “Secrets” to Improve Your Marriage QUICKLY

I’m going to share 7 “secrets” to quickly improve your marriage.

You might be thinking: “These tips won’t work for MY marriage. It’s hopeless.”

But I’m going to show you why these strategies work for almost any marriage…

No matter what circumstances you are currently facing.

Because using these tips will allow you to change your circumstances, or grow from them. Even if they suck.

And none of these are actually secrets. But are you actually putting these tips to good work in your marriage?

I have to admit that I sometimes fail at all these areas myself. So I’m committing myself to to doing a better job with my wife, starting right now. […]

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01 January 2015 ~ 7 Comments

15 Tips To Rock Your Marriage in 2015

2015Happy New Year!

It’s that time when bloggers around the world write list posts about how to make 2015 the best year ever.

I thought I’d follow suit with my own list post of 15 ways to rock your marriage in 2015.
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09 July 2014 ~ 1 Comment

Headed for Divorce? Here’s How To Have A Happy Marriage Again

angry coupleAre you in an unhappy marriage?

Maybe you are on the verge of divorce, or you’re not quite there yet but worried that you’re headed in that direction. You may be discouraged by statistics that claim that 50% of marriages end in divorce and that there is barely any difference in the divorce rate for those who are in the church. It seems almost inevitable that you will end up as a part of those statistics. How can you possibly beat the odds?

I have good news for you.

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04 May 2014 ~ 3 Comments

27 Ways to Keep the Romance Alive in Marriage

keep romance aliveI recently ran a poll where I asked you to share your ideas to keep the romance alive in marriage. The results are in. Here are 27 ways to be romantic:

Keep a Regular Date Night:

  1. INTRODUCE DATES NIGHTS IDEAS, Not to talk or discuss families or relationships issues!!!! but to just enjoy life and build memories together ( Movies, walks, weekend away, dinner, lunch, supper, game night etc for just the 2 of you).

  2. We do a date night every other Friday then the alternative Friday is family night…weather permitting we do a bonfire.

  3. Keep a once a week date night. It must focus on your relationship and not the things that are day to day life.

  4. A date once a month at the restaurant of your spouse.

  5. Date night that’s still a date when you get home.

Ideas for What to do on a Date: […]

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27 March 2014 ~ 1 Comment

“Don’t Change Me!” – 4 Ways to Inspire Spiritual Growth In Your Spouse

inspires spiritual growth

The other day I was watching one of the polygamy reality shows on TV. I don’t agree with polygamy, but I do think that watching these shows gives an interesting look into a different family and marriage structure.

The husband on the show started a policy of “safe talks” among his wives. Basically, he wanted them to feel safe bringing their issues to each other. If one wife was having problems with another, he wanted the offended wife to feel safe in approaching the offender.

One wife was a bit more vocal than the others and apparently she had accidentally offended some of them. They came to her wanting to have “safe talks” and she felt very judged and felt insecure for having caused the offenses.

So she went to the husband because she didn’t think the policy would work for her. She felt that he was pressuring her to be open to these talks. During the argument she said “Don’t change me!”

This echoes common marriage advice that you can’t and shouldn’t try to change your spouse. I think this is bad advice.

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01 March 2014 ~ 3 Comments

Married to an Emotional Turtle? How to Coax Him Out of His Shell

Emotional Turtle

Some time ago I wrote a post about how wives can deal with an emotionally distant husband. That post was mostly on how to understand why your husband is so closed off and how to use that knowledge to extend grace. In this post I will share some tips on how you can actually help him open up to you.

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02 February 2014 ~ 6 Comments

Can You Build A More Intimate Marriage With This One Simple Hack?

Marriage HackToday I want to share a simple hack from the business productivity world that you can use to build deeper intimacy in your marriage.

This hack is known as the Pareto principle, sometimes called the 80/20 rule. In its most basic form, the Pareto principle states that 80 percent of a cause results in 20 percent of an effect (or vice versa). There are many variations to this rule, such as:

  • 80% of books are sold by 20% of authors
  • 80% the wealth is controlled by 20% of the population
  • 80% of marketing results in 20% of sales
  • 80% of your efforts produce 20% of your results

It’s this last one that we want to look at. In business, this means that 80% of what the employees spend their time on isn’t doing much to help the company. Conversely, only 20% of time is spent on tasks that actually get results. Productivity coaches teach executives, managers, and employees to weed out those ineffective tasks and instead focus their time and effort on the other 20% that get 80% of the results.

So how can you apply this simple principle to your marriage?

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14 September 2013 ~ 1 Comment

What is True Love?

What is true love?We live in a culture that praises the fairytale concept of true love. Hollywood would have us believe that love is all about that moment when you first meet and there is a “magical connection” and you “just know” that this is the person you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with. Or it is about those feelings of euphoria you get when you first start dating, and that if those feelings go away the love is gone.

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14 November 2012 ~ 1 Comment

Introducing Real Men: A Series on Godly Masculinity

Do you know what it’s like to be in a spiritual desert?

I do. I’ve been in one for several years.

As a teen and young adult, I used to feel very emotionally and spiritually close to God.

I was excited to go to church and to the youth group that met every week. In fact, church was probably my favorite place to be.

At times, I would almost devour my Bible. I could spend hours reading and praying. I had a goal of reading the whole Bible (which I never quite fulfilled).

And I loved worship. I loved the sense of spiritual closeness to God that I felt when singing worship music. It didn’t matter if I was by myself or at a formal gathering, I simply couldn’t get enough of it.

Isn’t it sad how growing up can cause you to lose that youthful enthusiasm?

It’s been a very long time since I’ve felt consistently close to God. Sure, I’ve found some oases (the plural of oasis) as I’ve wandered the desert. At times, I even thought the oasis was the jungle at the edge of the desert. But soon the water would dry up and I’d be back to wandering again.

The desert is a dry and empty place. It has a way of sucking the joy out of you. You start to grow apathetic. You find it hard to even care that you’re lost. After a while, it becomes the norm. You grow comfortable with the desert. You learn where to find just enough water and food to get by. You’re never truly fulfilled, but at least you’re doing something, even if it is just wandering in hopeless circles.

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18 September 2012 ~ 0 Comments

How to be a Better Christian Husband and Father

Being a Godly man in today’s culture isn’t always easy. We are ridiculed for our old fashioned beliefs, such as the idea that we have been placed in a position of authority over our wives. We are treated like criminals and abusers if we are caught spanking our misbehaving children. The idea that there is an absolute morality and only one true religion makes us intolerant bigots. And the belief in a God who lovingly chose to create us rather than the random chance of evolution makes us ignorant zealots who would keep us in the dark ages because of our refusal to accept scientific “fact”.

And yet, never more has the world needed Godly husbands, fathers, and leaders more than it does now. The moral ambiguity of our current generation has given rise to a lawlessness that threatens to unravel society at the most fundamental level: the family unit. Statistics have shown that fathers play a significant role in the development of their children.  Children who have active fathers at home do much better in school, have fewer development problems, and are less likely to get into trouble with drugs, sex, and crime than kids who have fathers who are absent, inattentive, or abusive.

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