29 January 2015 ~ 2 Comments

7 “Secrets” to Improve Your Marriage QUICKLY

I’m going to share 7 “secrets” to quickly improve your marriage.

You might be thinking: “These tips won’t work for MY marriage. It’s hopeless.”

But I’m going to show you why these strategies work for almost any marriage…

No matter what circumstances you are currently facing.

Because using these tips will allow you to change your circumstances, or grow from them. Even if they suck.

And none of these are actually secrets. But are you actually putting these tips to good work in your marriage?

I have to admit that I sometimes fail at all these areas myself. So I’m committing myself to to doing a better job with my wife, starting right now. […]

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10 July 2014 ~ 0 Comments

Should Marriage Be Hard?

broken heartThere’s no doubt that marriage can be really hard sometimes.

I like to talk about how marriage should make you holy more than happy. Facing and overcoming difficult times in your marriage can do a lot to help you develop godly character.

But marriage doesn’t always have to be hard. In fact, it shouldn’t be. I believe that marriage should make you both happy and holy, with a little more emphasis on the holy. And you can grow a lot from your marriage even when things aren’t hard, so the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

Unfortunately, a lot of what makes marriage hard for some people isn’t the big ticket issues, it’s a bunch of  little stuff that piles up together and makes things seem worse  than they really are.

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12 February 2014 ~ 1 Comment

What Everyone Gets Wrong About Love and Respect

Love and respect not feelings

I’m a huge believer in the concept of love and respect. I also believe they go both ways, husbands and wives both need love and respect. However, there is one important area where I may not agree with the majority on this subject.

Many people talk about the importance of making your spouse feel loved or respected. I think that they believe it is the duty of a husband to make sure his wife feels loved, and likewise it is the duty of a wife to make her husband feel respected. The problem with this is that it takes headship away from the husband and holds the marriage captive to   emotions.

Even if you believe in mutual submission (which I don’t), headship is not in the hands of the couple or Christ in this scenario. This is because emotions are very difficult to control.
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16 January 2014 ~ 0 Comments

7 Things Your Wife Needs To Hear You Say This Week

Words of Affirmation

I’m a big believer in the power of your words to improve your marriage.

It is all too easy to forget this power. You can easily get so caught up in the day to day routine that the opportunities to encourage and appreciate your wife can slip away before you know it.

Yet taking a few seconds each day to let your wife know you value her is one of the simplest, most powerful things you can do to strengthen your relationship. It has the amazing ability to warm her heart, make her feel loved and give her a sense of security and confidence in your relationship. […]

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14 August 2012 ~ 18 Comments

Do Husbands Need to Respect Their Wives?

One of the most basic, most fundamental concepts in the Bible for building a strong, godly marriage is the principle of love and respect. We see in Ephesians 5 that God has commanded husbands to love their wives, and likewise for wives to respect their husbands.

It is very difficult, if not impossible, to build an intimate and strong marriage if this principle is not being practiced.

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28 April 2012 ~ 5 Comments

What To Do When Your Wife Disrespects You

Respect“You NEVER help out around here!”

You are taken aback by these words. You’ve had a long and stressful day at work, and you’ve barely been home for 10 minutes. And now your wife is throwing this unjust accusation at you.

Who does she think she is?

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11 April 2012 ~ 21 Comments

5 Ways Wives Unwittingly Disrespect Their Husbands

ArgumentOne day my wife and I went shopping at Costco. I began to lead her in one direction fully expecting her to come along with me, but instead she seemed upset and asked me where I was going.

But her tone of voice turned that simple question into an accusation. I felt disrespected, not because she didn’t follow me unquestioningly, but because I interpreted her tone as a challenge and insult.

I reacted poorly. Being the boneheaded man that I am (and new to this whole marriage thing, at that point), I didn’t tell her what I was doing. Instead I just motioned for her to follow me. Now she was beyond upset. In fact, she actually stormed off in the other direction. We did most of our shopping separately that day.

I was floored. I went to grab the double loaf of bread I had been aiming for, wondering what on Earth I had done wrong. I remember feeling very frustrated.

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19 March 2012 ~ 1 Comment

How Passivity Destroys Marriages

It has been said that apathy is a silent killer. I like to think that passivity is apathy’s ugly twin sister. Together, the twins undermine God’s purpose for your marriage (and your life) by keeping you from waking up and seeing the war that we live in every day.

Jesus Christ came to destroy the works of the enemy, and if you are a Christian He has enlisted you, along with all of your resources (including your marriage, your children, and your career) in this purpose. The Bible is clear that every Christian person has a mission, and that this mission somehow involves both evangelism and discipleship. God has called you to reach the lost and to train His Church to do the same. The passive person will never work to fulfill this purpose, at least not seriously.

And yet this is not the only way in which apathy undermines marriage. Marriage takes work. If you don’t believe this than you have bought into the idea of the fairytale marriage. Sorry, but “happily ever after” is reserved for the next life. You can achieve a great deal of happiness in your marriage in this life, but that requires commitment and effort. Passivity is the antithesis to work.

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10 March 2012 ~ 1 Comment

Do You Understand the Amazing Power of Your Words?

On the way home from work today I was listening to KLOVE  Radio, which had Matthew West as a guest on the show. Matthew is a popular Christian singer/songwriter who is working on  project called “The Story Of Your Life”. This is actually the second year he’s done this.

For the project, Matthew has asked for people to send in their life stories to him. He will read these stories and turn several of them into songs that will go into an album.You can get the album from last year’s project here, if you’re interested.

What caught my attention is that Matthew was asked a question about what strikes him the most about the stories he is receiving. What he said was that many of the stories start with some kind of sense of betrayal or hurt caused by a parent, such as an abandonment, divorce or abuse.

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28 January 2012 ~ 16 Comments

How to Deal With an Emotionally Distant Husband

Do you have an emotionally distant husband? Does he often “check out” on you or refuse to talk to you? Or maybe he just doesn’t know how to connect emotionally? This is a common problem that many women face in their marriages. It might seem as if your husband doesn’t care about you or that he isn’t interested in you. Sometimes, you may feel like your suffocating under the emotional neglect. Some women even go so far as to say it feels as if their husbands hate them because of this problem.

[tweetthis]Do you have an emotionally distant husband? Does he often “check out” on you?[/tweetthis]

What can you do if you find yourself in this kind of situation? Is he really uninterested, or is it that he just doesn’t know how to relate in an emotional way? If so, how can you help him to come out of his protective shell without pushing him away? If I may, I would like to offer a man’s perspective on this important issue.

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