29 January 2015 ~ 2 Comments

7 “Secrets” to Improve Your Marriage QUICKLY

I’m going to share 7 “secrets” to quickly improve your marriage.

You might be thinking: “These tips won’t work for MY marriage. It’s hopeless.”

But I’m going to show you why these strategies work for almost any marriage…

No matter what circumstances you are currently facing.

Because using these tips will allow you to change your circumstances, or grow from them. Even if they suck.

And none of these are actually secrets. But are you actually putting these tips to good work in your marriage?

I have to admit that I sometimes fail at all these areas myself. So I’m committing myself to to doing a better job with my wife, starting right now. […]

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02 February 2014 ~ 6 Comments

Can You Build A More Intimate Marriage With This One Simple Hack?

Marriage HackToday I want to share a simple hack from the business productivity world that you can use to build deeper intimacy in your marriage.

This hack is known as the Pareto principle, sometimes called the 80/20 rule. In its most basic form, the Pareto principle states that 80 percent of a cause results in 20 percent of an effect (or vice versa). There are many variations to this rule, such as:

  • 80% of books are sold by 20% of authors
  • 80% the wealth is controlled by 20% of the population
  • 80% of marketing results in 20% of sales
  • 80% of your efforts produce 20% of your results

It’s this last one that we want to look at. In business, this means that 80% of what the employees spend their time on isn’t doing much to help the company. Conversely, only 20% of time is spent on tasks that actually get results. Productivity coaches teach executives, managers, and employees to weed out those ineffective tasks and instead focus their time and effort on the other 20% that get 80% of the results.

So how can you apply this simple principle to your marriage?

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14 November 2012 ~ 1 Comment

Introducing Real Men: A Series on Godly Masculinity

Do you know what it’s like to be in a spiritual desert?

I do. I’ve been in one for several years.

As a teen and young adult, I used to feel very emotionally and spiritually close to God.

I was excited to go to church and to the youth group that met every week. In fact, church was probably my favorite place to be.

At times, I would almost devour my Bible. I could spend hours reading and praying. I had a goal of reading the whole Bible (which I never quite fulfilled).

And I loved worship. I loved the sense of spiritual closeness to God that I felt when singing worship music. It didn’t matter if I was by myself or at a formal gathering, I simply couldn’t get enough of it.

Isn’t it sad how growing up can cause you to lose that youthful enthusiasm?

It’s been a very long time since I’ve felt consistently close to God. Sure, I’ve found some oases (the plural of oasis) as I’ve wandered the desert. At times, I even thought the oasis was the jungle at the edge of the desert. But soon the water would dry up and I’d be back to wandering again.

The desert is a dry and empty place. It has a way of sucking the joy out of you. You start to grow apathetic. You find it hard to even care that you’re lost. After a while, it becomes the norm. You grow comfortable with the desert. You learn where to find just enough water and food to get by. You’re never truly fulfilled, but at least you’re doing something, even if it is just wandering in hopeless circles.

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21 May 2012 ~ 2 Comments

Your Marriage Is Not A Dream Come True

Writing ManI’ve harbored dreams of being a professional writer since I was kid.

I would lose myself in expansive fantasy worlds created by my favorite authors and dream of the day I would be a renowned fantasy writer.

And yet, how much time did I actually spend pursuing this dream? If I had this grand dream, wouldn’t I spend my free time spinning out as many stories as I could in order to master the craft of writing and storytelling?

But the truth is, my dream was nothing more than that: A dream. I never took it seriously enough to take action on it. I started a few stories that never got very far along.

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28 March 2012 ~ 1 Comment

7 Tips To Better Communication With Your Wife (Even If You Feel Clueless)

Do you ever feel clueless when it comes to communicating with your wife? You already know you need to communicate better with her. You are aware of the statistics on how many marriages end in divorce over this issue. But you feel frustrated because you just can’t seem to get it right. Your wife has probably let you know that she needs you to open up to her or communicate more with her. She may have even told you that she feels like there is no emotional connection between you.

[tweetthis]Do you ever feel clueless when it comes to communicating with your wife?[/tweetthis]

If this is you, rest assured that you are not alone in your struggle. In fact, I understand where you are coming from all too well. What is a godly man to do in this situation?
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19 March 2012 ~ 1 Comment

How Passivity Destroys Marriages

It has been said that apathy is a silent killer. I like to think that passivity is apathy’s ugly twin sister. Together, the twins undermine God’s purpose for your marriage (and your life) by keeping you from waking up and seeing the war that we live in every day.

Jesus Christ came to destroy the works of the enemy, and if you are a Christian He has enlisted you, along with all of your resources (including your marriage, your children, and your career) in this purpose. The Bible is clear that every Christian person has a mission, and that this mission somehow involves both evangelism and discipleship. God has called you to reach the lost and to train His Church to do the same. The passive person will never work to fulfill this purpose, at least not seriously.

And yet this is not the only way in which apathy undermines marriage. Marriage takes work. If you don’t believe this than you have bought into the idea of the fairytale marriage. Sorry, but “happily ever after” is reserved for the next life. You can achieve a great deal of happiness in your marriage in this life, but that requires commitment and effort. Passivity is the antithesis to work.

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